


Summer Camp is hard, and nobody understands

by risingEmbers



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Crushes, Gen, Humanstuck, more to be added later - Freeform, paintball massacres, rosemary is a solid maybe, roxy and dirk are mentioned, so are dad egbert and granpa harley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 14:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7849126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risingEmbers/pseuds/risingEmbers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two summer camps, both alike in dignity<br/>By fair Lake Skaia is where we set our scene<br/>Where ancient grudge between rival camps leads to mutiny<br/>Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean<br/>(it's just paint, chill)</p>
<p>When John Egbert goes to the camp his twin, Jade Harley, has been going to for years, they discover that a new group is now visiting, and these six kids are very different to what anyone was expecting.<br/>Meanwhile, Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider suffer through the bizarre hazing ritual at Camp Derse, and learn new things about their camp-mates, and themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summer Camp is hard, and nobody understands

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!  
>  ~~(I mostly wrote this to write Karkat's insults)~~

Camp Prospit  
It was a warm, sunny evening, light slowly filtering through the trees of the Medium Forest, and the rays danced upon the surface of lake Skaia. The sun starting to descend below a hill, as the sky shifts from a warm gold, and starts to turn violet. This is where we set our scene, as two twins, John and Jade, leave their Uncle Jake’s car, say goodbye, and head to Camp Prospit, where they will stay for the next two weeks of their summer holiday. Despite being biological twins, they had been raised apart, with frequent visits of course. John with his father, and Jade with her Poppop (no one really knew where the mother was, and no one wanted to ask. The twins as young children thought they didn’t have one.)   
“So this is that summer camp you’ve been going to for years, huh Jade?” John asked as they arrived, looking out over the yellow painted buildings and the motley crew already assembled.   
“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll love it as much as I do, the people here are always so nice!” Jade replied, her perpetual smile shining as always, ready to show her brother around for his first time at camp.  
“ALRIGHT, FUCKMUNCHES, YOU’RE THE LAST TWO WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR? WE WERE WAITING FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES IN THIS BRAINLESS ASSFISTED BITCHFACE OF A HEAT!” A short boy, who looked as if he was about to erupt like a volcano and spew out insults like tephra and expletives like magma, or in short, angry as hell.  
“Wow, what’s his problem?” John asked his sister, hoping for some advice.  
“I don’t understand, these people are all new, I don’t recognise any of them. Oh well, we can make new friends!”  
“I guess.” John grumbled.  
As these two quietly discussed the influx of new kids, those already waiting were having a different talk  
“Karkat, you really shouldn’t greet the new people like that” A girl a head taller than him said, with a concerned, almost motherly look.  
“WELL ITS THEIR FAULTS FOR BEING LACKADAISICAL SHAMESHITTING PILES OF ASS” Karkat responded, loudly.  
“While I commend your ever evolving plethora of insults, I must again ask if you can keep quiet about this sort of thing, at least for now.” The girl added.  
“Alright Kanaya.” He grumbled.  
The rest of the group looked on, calmly, they were already used to this sort of thing, a boy who was taller than the rest by far, who had a serene look on his face. Most people thought it was probably because he was high all the time. It was most definitely because he was high all the time, despite how troubling that is because these kids are all thirteen. The next was a small boy in a wheelchair, with a smile and a small Mohawk. Finally were the so-called scourge sisters, one with a red pair of sunglasses and a white cane tipped with a dragons head, the other with a thin framed pair of glasses resting on a gaunt face surrounded by long black curls. A strange looking group indeed.  
“What it up my motherfuckers? This is my best bro Karkat, then there’s Kanaya, Tavros, Terezi and Vriska, and I’m Gamzee” The high-looking one drawled, pointing to each in turn, and then himself.  
“Hi, I’m Jade, and this is my twin brother John!”   
The rest were about to say various greetings, when two adults came in, with skin and hair so pale it could be pure white, and carrying themselves with a regal manner  
“I’m Whitney Quinn, this is William Keeps, and we’re the camp managers! who here wants to have some fun?”   
And there went the regal manner.  
“Now as WQ was saying, we are going to have lots of fun here, but first, head to the dorm and pick your bunks.” William added, and led them to a small building with two small rooms, one with a few scattered bunk beds, and one with a toilet, shower and sink. Both rooms had a single uncovered light bulb hanging by a cord, the bedroom with a single electrical socket next to one of the beds, and the bathroom had a small puddle of water next to the shower that no one had cleaned yet.  
“Welp.” John uttered, before taking a top bunk near the door, with Jade taking the corresponding bottom bunk, although diving into it seems more appropriate, and then the rest followed suit.  
“I get the top bunk, Vriska!”  
“Fuck you, Terezi!”   
Terezi then proceeded to clamber up the top bunk at the back of the room (“The cool kids always go to the back”) seeming to not notice the ladder at all she clambered up the side of the bed and laid her cane down on the mattress, before taking a small plush white dragon, and then a yellow one, and placing them next to the cane.  
“Is that a… noose around that yellow one?” John asked her.  
“Senator Lemonsnout was convicted of attempting to assassinate Pyralspite, embezzling government funds and tampering with evidence, and so was sentenced to death. Can you please take my sound judgement with respect.” Terezi answered with a childlike, but almost psychotic grin, bearing rows of teeth.  
Gamzee gingerly placed Tavros’ bag on a lower bed, as in, carrying him onto it, before claiming the higher one for himself, and Karkat and Kanaya took the remaining bunk. The room was quiet, for a moment, as WQ and WK took their leave, and left the kids to unpack. Then Karkat happened.  
“SO, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO WHILE WE WAIT FOR THEM TO COME BACK?”  
“Well, we could tell them more about ourselves?” Tavros said with a nervous smile. The rest seemed to oblige.  
“Weellllllll I’m the Marquise Spinnaret Mindfang, and I-“  
“DAMN IT VRISKA WE’RE NOT USING THIS STUPID RP’ING BULLSHIT AGAIN!”  
“ugh, fine, just trying to spice it up for you guys, you’re all so boring!” Vriska groaned, and her friend seemed to take some sort of enjoyment from this.  
“Maybe, I should continue” Terezi said, with a grin.  
“I am Redgl-“ Vriska nudged her arm and whispered something in her ear.  
“I am Terezi Pyrope, I’m thirteen like the rest of the fruity rumpus party club” Karkat groaned. “You know you love it really Karkles. Anyway, all of us go to Alternia middle school, and here’s the lowdown on each of us. Karkalicious is the shouty guy you met previously, the tall one is Gamzee, juggalo stoner clown, his dad is a senator somehow, the one below him is Tavros, paralysed in an unfortunate accident.” She paused to glare at Vriska, before continuing, the implication was something which made the twins rather uneasy “That’s Kanaya, the fashionista of our little clan. Also one thing you should know about me…” She turned to look at John directly in the eyes, taking off her sunglasses revealing burnt red retinas below “I’m blind”  
“Wow” John said, incredulously.   
“So should we introduce ourselves?” Jade asked, before continuing on regardless. “Me and John are twins, but raised apart, I was raised on a remote island in the Pacific with Poppop and Bec (he’s my dog!) while John’s from Maple Valley, Washington. We’re also thirteen, and we have two friends going to Camp Derse across the lake!”  
At the sheer mention of Camp Derse the room seemed to get a chill, peoples’ backs straightened, eyes sharpened, and breaths were hitched. It was clear there was something Camp Derse had done to cause such a reaction to everyone else.  
“Speaking of Camp Derse, I wonder how Dave and Rose are doing.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, chapter two will be coming soon-ish!  
> Also this is my first fic so sorry if I got things wrong.


End file.
